How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

In a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things—all of it, all of the time, every day.  You’re saying, ‘your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.’  Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.’  From the movie, Shall We Dance? It was six weeks before their wedding and Chad and Lisa still had not hired an officiant.  Towards the end …

Presume Nothing – While Planning Your Wedding!

We enter marriage offering the best of who we are: our deepest feelings, our best intentions, our greatest hopes, full of generosity and affection for our partner. But we fall in love and decide to live the rest of our loves together without realizing that loving each other and living our life together are different.                                                                         Susan Piver When Philip and Cora first met with me they were five months away from their wedding.  In their late twenties, they’d been …

7 Tips to Help You Listen to Yourself and to Your Partner

    When we talked, I felt brilliant, fascinating; she brought out the version of myself I like most. Nadir Alsadir     true story Ashley and Dan invited me to have pizza as we finalized the ceremony details. It was going to be ninety degrees the afternoon of their outdoor ceremony and Dan reminded me he wanted it kept barebones short.   As he droned on, I noticed Ashley was quiet and no longer smiling.   Her family was …

What Helping High School Seniors with Their College Application Essays Taught Me About Wedding Vows!

A human life is not a life until it is examined; it is not a life until it is truly remembered and appropriated; and such a remembrance is not something passive but active. . . the creative construction of one’s life. Oliver Sacks Occasionally, I like to offer a post that isn’t directly related to weddings BUT is kinda, sorta wedding themed and THIS is one of those “odd” postings! This past week I was an instructor at a three-day …

Marriage = One Long, Grand Conversation!

photo: jesse leake   A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short. Andre Malroux    true story One night I grabbed dinner at my favorite local bistro. The staff knows me and brings me “the usual” without my having to ask. I was lost in a book when I happened to glance up and look across the room. Two tables lined the opposite wall.   At one sat a young couple in their twenties – laughing, …

The Odd History of Marriage

I’m constantly reading other blogs, along with magazines and papers and so I’m constantly clipping and saving tidbits I find interesting. Oftentimes, though, when I return to the clipping, I can’t recall why I had saved the info or where it’s from! And so it is with this item. . . Recently, I was sorting through a bunch of posts I had saved regarding weddings.  I have no idea where I got the following, but apparently it’s a review of …

And Now a Word From Meryl Streep!

In her Oscar acceptance speech for playing British P.M. Margaret Thatcher, Meryl Streep spoke directly to her husband, saying: “Everything I value most in our lives, you have given me.” What a stunningly poignant thing for a person to say to their spouse!  And so I invite you to consider these questions as you prepare to offer your vows: Can you say the same thing to your partner? What do you value most? What does your partner value most? What …

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The Real Woman Creed

  I came across this item and filed it away. I’ve got two nieces and five goddaughters and I thought this was something I’d like them to read (and embrace!). . .   It then occurred to me that this is actually a wonderful “creed” for any bride and so I’m sharing it here.   I’ve looked for “The Real Man’s Creed” and couldn’t find one. Grooms – any suggestions as to how your creed should read?   The Real …