Maura (names changed) shared with me that she loves her fiancé, Micah, not because he “is” her life, but rather because he “gives” her life. He gives her the courage to embrace her self—her life—and invites her to dare and create a life with him.
In the early days of dating Maura wondered why Micah wanted to be with her. A year ago, when he proposed, she quickly said “yes,” and then more intently began to wonder why he would want to spend his life with her, of all people!
Maura told me that as she navigated through her self doubts, the great gift Micah gave her was to help her see that those doubts were just lies she told herself. He helped her to see more clearly and freely the person she was in this moment in her life. He helped her to envision who she wanted to become.
Micah couldn’t live life for her. He could, though, help her embrace life with confidence – a confidence that comes from recognizing strengths and acknowledging weaknesses.
In learning to see herself with new clarity, Maura has been able to see that she, too, gives Micah life – in ways that he had never experienced before.
SANITY SAVER questions:
- What do you most like about yourself?
- Which of your partner’s character strengths help you be a better person?
- Which of your character strengths help your partner be a better person?
Please understand that I’m not asking you to consider what you’re going to do for your partner. Rather, I’m asking you to consider what it is about you that you prize so much that you want to share it with your partner.
Do these questions make you squirm? Good!
When confronted by questions like these, most of us do squirm. Often times we feel uncomfortable reflecting upon and naming the good that we are BUT name it you must.
The more you understand and appreciate what makes you unique and what you bring to your marriage, the more confidently will you say “I do.”
To love your partner and to respect and love your relationship,
you must know how to learn to honor yourself.