Tips On How To Give a Toast!

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Rose Franken

While couples often ask me for advice on how to write their vows, it is their parents or a member of their wedding party who ask me for advice on how to give a toast.

Here are some of the most common questions I’m asked on HOW TO WRITE A TOAST

How should one begin the process of writing a speech or a toast?

Don’t wait until the night before! Carve out time – no distractions – and think about the couple. Can you recall the moment when you looked at them and realized, “This is real!” What makes them “work” as a couple? These are the insights that will guide your writing.

Should I even write anything or just speak from the heart in the moment?

Few, very few people, are capable of speaking intelligently from the heart “in the moment.” You MUST have your toast/speech written out. You may know it so well that you won’t have to read it BUT you must have written down (and edited) what you want to say.

I get really anxious in front of large groups, what are some ways for me to practice?

Why are you nervous? What are you telling yourself? It’s not about YOU! Your toast/speech is your “gift” to the couple – and to their families and friends. You are not auditioning for a job interview. Besides, most people don’t like to speak in public so majority of the guests are relieved that’s it’s you and not them speaking! To help calm your nerves, when giving the toast be sure to stand near the couple and look at them – let their smiling faces steady your nerves.

I’ve been asked to make a speech on very short notice, help!

Remember – less is more! Your speech doesn’t have to be long. What is a sweet (not embarrassing) memory you have of the couple? What insight into the couple does that memory give you? That insight is one of the reasons everyone loves the couple. Tell them that and then wish them a lifetime of more memories like the one you have of them. That simple!

How can I make an impression with my toast?

Two things to keep in mind –

  1. A toast is tricky – most likely, you know one of the people better or longer than the other BUT you are toasting the couple and not just your friend. Speak to how “your” person was transformed in some way after meeting their partner – thank the partner for what they’ve given to “your” person.
  2. When you’ve come to the end of your toast be sure to turn to the guests and invite them to raise their glasses and join you in toasting the couple. Then turn to the couple, raise your glass and actually give a “toast” i.e. “To a lifetime of health, happiness and joy!” You want your toast to have this kind of rousing ending!

If you’re worried that your best man (woman) or maid (man) of honor is going to say the wrong thing, go on too long or do something that will make you grit your teeth then treat them to a coaching session with me.


I can show your “Toasters” how to gift you with a toast that will make you smile –and maybe even make you get teary-eyed!


Drop me a note and let’s explore how my Toast Coaching can help!
[email protected]

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