When you and I first met, the meeting was over very shortly, it was nothing.
Now it is growing into something as we remember it.
But still we know very little about it.
What it will be when I remember it as I lie down to die,
what it makes in me all my days till then –
that is the real meeting.
The other is only the beginning of it.
This past week two more of my couples postponed their wedding date until next year. I can barely imagine the emotional roller-coaster ride they been on. That you’ve been on!
As I’ve listened to many of my couples and as I’ve talked to many of my colleagues in the world of weddings, I hear a lot of talk about, “when we get back to normal.”
The thing is – I’m not convinced we’re returning anytime soon to “normal.”
I think all of us – you, the couple, and we who help create your celebration – need to reimagine what a wedding can look like and feel like and sound like in a “new normal.”
To reimagine can be an exciting undertaking (I know – easy for me to write).
In this post, and in posts to follow, I share my own musings on weddings reimagined!
Magicians in fairytales utter special words to bring about their desired outcomes. Words still bring special moments to life – two of the most powerful words being, “I Do.”
Here’s what I think is the power of those words.
Couples often tell me, we can’t wait to start our life together. The truth, though, is that your life together began the moment you first met.
Your wedding is your pledge to honor that meeting. To honor all the good that it has made of you and all the good that it will make of you all the days of your life together.
Your wedding affirms, seals, and embraces that meeting with the giving of your word: I Do.
I Do promise to continue to become the best and bravest person I am meant to be.
I D promise to support and cheer on you, partner as you become the best and bravest person you are meant to be.
That is what your wedding celebrates.
I officiated a wedding in a chapel built on the grounds of a retirement home. The chapel had been built by the bride Emily’s great-grandfather. It was there that he officiated the wedding of her grandparents. Tradition and family made this space especially sacred.
Emily and Adam were glowing as they
stood before me, ever present to the moment. And then, as I was speaking, Emily
spotted something on Adam’s jacket. Instinctively, she reached across and flicked
it away. Everyone laughed, though they seemed clueless to our reaction.
It was an exquisite moment. That one gesture spoke to the reality of marriage – caring in simple ways – reaching gently across to help each other.
With the flick of her hand, Emily created magic. And it was that magic we had all come to celebrate.
It is that magic your wedding celebrates.
You protect and keep each other sane when you are guided by the understanding that your wedding celebrates the life you and your partner have already created and pledge to continue to create in honesty and joy.
Sanity Saver Questions
To Help You Reimagine Your Magical Wedding
- Visualize your wedding day as you imagined it in the early days of planning. What did you want your wedding day to look and feel like? Be as specific as possible. Have you and your partner been on the same page throughout planning? Where have you differed? Do you each know why certain details have been important to the other?
- Imagine that there are only seven things from your original vision that you can have in your reconceived wedding celebration. What would be on each of your lists and why?
- Ask yourself, “If I don’t have _______, how will it affect my memory of our wedding celebration?” Will it ruin your memory or simply create a different memory?
- Why did you decide to throw a wedding celebration and not elope? Are those reasons still important to you? Can you reimagine how those reasons can look in a new celebration?
- On you 25th wedding anniversary, what do you want to most vividly remember about your wedding day?
- It has been said that the hardest part of marriage isn’t learning how to get along with your spouse, but rather coming to grips with what you learn about yourself as you relate to your partner. What have you learned about yourself in the pandemic and how will that knowledge help you as you reimagine your wedding?
Focus on the magic and you and your partner will be able to reimagine your celebration!