I recently discovered, much to my surprise, that my goddaughter Meredith is a writer! I officiated her “micro-wedding” last May. She and her husband Cole are planning a big bash, the originally envisioned celebration, this November. . .
This is a free-form poem she wrote to Cole. . .I’m biased. . .I’m also moved as I think it is, in a way, an encapsulation of the vows they offered to each other.
I’m grateful Meredith gave me permission to share with you, in the hope that her words to Cole help you discover your words to your partner. . .
I understand why you get quiet
I understand how hard it must be for you to feel the pressures of the world riding on your shoulders;
No room to fuck up.
I understand that injustices of the world make you downright angry,
And you carry that too.
I understand that you can’t control how much you care. Care too much?
Never an option for me
But for you this means weakness,
Lack of control.
This, I understand.
I understand because, in many ways, I am the same.
I understand that I am crazy.
I understand I drive you crazy too.
I understand how you can read a person’s character in less than 10 seconds.
I understand that you ‘were raised better than that’.
I understand why you are slow to trust.
I understand that you think you are average.
What I don’t understand is why.
You are everything but average to me in every way.
I understand that sometimes you don’t want to talk.
I only hate it because I love the sound of your voice.
I understand you feel you have to fight to get what/where you want in life.
I only wish I could give it to you.
I understand that you don’t like to share certain opinions with people.
I understand this does not include sports.
I understand what you mean when you say, ‘nothing’.
…and then again, sometimes I don’t.
I understand you think you love me more, but I must inform you
This is not the case.
I understand I see things as a competition, sometimes too often.
I understand how I bug you.
I understand that sometimes we are too alike in our stubbornness, neither wanting to give in.
I understand that you view certain things differently than I do.
I understand that you have a lot of patience (not just with me), but in general.
What I don’t understand is how?
I understand that we are young.
I understand that not many people last at our age.
I understand that you make me feel how I never have felt before.
What I don’t understand is why not us?
Why not you?
Who has the authority to tell you, you can’t do something?
In my eyes, you are capable of anything.
All this, and more I understand.
Yet, I am still left wondering. . .
When is our time?
When will I be able to fully understand you and your love?
I am not done understanding, nor am I done trying to.
From all that I understand, I understand
There is more.
Are you thinking of writing personal vows to each other?
If so, I invite you to check out my book –
How to Write Your Vows: Giving Voice to What Is Deep Within