When I meet with a couple, one of the first things I ask is:
“Is there anything you know you do want or anything you know you don’t want in your ceremony?”
Brad and Darlene (names changed), the couple I met with today, told me they weren’t sure what they wanted, even though they’ve been to over a dozen weddings in the past two years. They said that they all had become just a blur.
But then Brad excitedly turned to Darlene and reminded her of the wedding of their friends Jared and Kathy. Darlene in turn got excited and agreed that the ceremony had been beautiful.
However, when I asked what about the ceremony they liked, they drew a blank – they couldn’t remember anything specific!
They just remembered that the celebrant offered words that touched them and that spoke to their own relationship.
As they chatted a bit longer about the wedding, it became clear they couldn’t remember much of anything – just that it was a wonderful experience. I laughed because they proved what I have always maintained.
People don’t remember details so much as they remember the feel and tone of your celebration.
I’m sure Jared and Kathy put a lot of thought and care into the planning of their ceremony and reception, but what Brad and Darlene remembered was the joy and love that went into the day and not the particulars.
I think this is vitally important to keep in mind as you plan your celebration.
- What was the most moving ceremony you’ve witnessed?
- What made it memorable for you?
- If you can’t recall the particulars, why do you think that is?
Let your answers to these questions help guide you in your own planning.