A Celebration of Choice in Los Angeles!


I recently had a final meeting with a couple who are getting married next month. During a leisurely Starbucks conversation, the groom, Max (names changed, said this to me:


“I had to reach rock bottom in past relationships before I could find Kate I had self-imprisoned myself in a gulag of abuse. I knew I wanted better and so I set out in search of Kate.”


The old cliché that marriage is a “ball and chain” made no sense to Max, as for him marriage was freedom – to experience love, to love and to move closer to being the man he wanted to be.


One of my favorite poets, Mark Doty, observed:

How shall we know ourselves, except in the clarifying mirror of some other gaze?


Max and Kate understand that their wedding is a celebration of choice – a celebration of moving into the light.


And so for them, marriage, with all of its unknowns and uncertainties, is about overcoming fear: the fear of not being worthy.


Can I as a wedding officiant predict the future for any couple? No.

BUT with Max and Kate I can bet my money that theirs is an enduring love.


Because once you’ve “seen” what they’ve seen, it’s very, very hard to “un-see” it!


In that book which is my memory,

On the first page of the chapter that is the day when I first met you,

Appear the words, ‘Here begins a new life.’

Dante Alighieri


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