Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
Shakespeare
How do you stay sane during the planning process?
Talk. Laugh. Talk.
This is the only way a couple can stay sane while planning their wedding. Remind each other why you’re getting married AND why you’ve chosen the type of wedding celebration you’re now planning.
What tips can you give couples to avoid battles over the small stuff?
At the beginning of the planning, a couple needs to envision what they want their wedding to be – in spirit and in detail.
Whether it is a bride or a groom each has a blind spot, so agree that if the other is falling back into an old, annoying habit, the other has permission to remind them with a splash of cold water (okay, not literally!)
What activities should you do together during the planning process to keep
the peace and/or stay connected?
In order to stay connected during the planning, a couple should schedule times when they can turn off their cells and actually talk about the wedding and the issues/challenges that arise. A couple should also schedule times when they talk about anything BUT the wedding.
How do you communicate with your partner and families to get what you want
without a fight?
It’s easy for “buttons” to be pressed during the planning. A couple needs to agree that they’re not going to resort to pressing those old buttons. Don’t accuse. Don’t say, “you never,” “you always,” “you drive me nuts.” People most quickly become defensive when they hear the accusatory “you.”
What should couples consider/remember when making tough wedding day
decisions?
When dealing with tough wedding day decisions, a couple needs to remember that they’re creating a memory. I encourage them to ask themselves this question:
Five years from now what are three words you want people to use when they describe their memory of your wedding?
If you are afraid of public speaking, how can you have meaningful and
memorable vows?
Speaking in public is ranked as people’s #1 fear. Many couples stress over saying their vows. Remember – you don’t have to write your own vows. The traditional wording has endured because the words are moving and powerful. You can gift your partner with a letter the morning of your wedding OR you could exchange personal sentiments to each other after your rehearsal and before you had off to a rehearsal dinner / party.
If you write your own vows – what are some tips or guidelines?
There is no right or wrong way to write your vows. I remind couples that the vows should be short – you’re not writing a prenup! Simply speak from your heart. There is no such thing as “cheesy” vows – speaking from your heart can never be cheesy! And check out my blog posts on writing your vows J
For someone with a writing block, how do you suggest they get started or get
past the problem?
I encourage a couple to write their vows in a moment of quiet. Go to a favorite place. Perhaps listen to the song you chose for your first dance. Don’t stress. Your vows do not have to be “perfect.”
If you continue to feel overwhelmed then maybe you should gift your partner with the traditional vow wording.
Bring paper to the altar or memorize – and why?
No one expects a couple to have anything memorized on the day of their wedding – not even their names! If you’ve written anything personal, write it out on “nice” paper – avoid ripped notebook paper.
Any tips or secrets to making your ceremony dynamic?
A ceremony will only be as dynamic as your relationship with the officiant.
Select an officiant who:
1) understands what you do want and what you do not want
2) who has a sense of humor similar to your own
3) who centers the ceremony on your love and the life you are pledging to create
4) who does not turn it all into a condescending lecture on “what is marriage.”