How To Stay Sane While Planning Your Wedding

how-to-plan-your-wedding-stay-sane

I love my mother, but she’s driving me crazy. The stress is too much; I’m ready to elope. I can’t believe the nerve of some of my guests! I’m trying to please everyone, but. . . Whatever she wants is fine with me. I’m staying out of it. I’m worried it won’t be perfect. I’m not sure – is it okay to. . . These are some of the all-time most popular laments I’ve heard from couples. Planning for a …

What Are You Looking For In Your Partner?

As I continue to go through my files of saved wedding tidbits, I came across this quote whose author I don’t know (obviously, though, a very smart person!) When I read this, the first thing that popped into my head was – how ironic that couples want the celebration of this “chemistry” to be “perfect!” One of the tests of finding the right person is to ask ourselves if this is the particular form of selfishness and egotism we can live with. …

Wise Words for Your Vows

I’ve been going through my files and came across this quote I had tucked away. I don’t know who made this observation. Obviously, though, it comes from a wise person! In a marriage we must relate to the person we have before us while keeping in mind the ideal to whom we made the vows, who may at the time, bear no resemblance at all to what we are seeing and hearing. In a successful marriage we do not get …

10 Must-Have Couple Conversations BEFORE Walking Down the Aisle

But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made.  Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for  as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take.  It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.                                                                         Madeleine L’Engle true story ~ The …

. . .to the Divorced Parents of the Bride or Groom

photo: jesseleake.com A Letter To The Divorced Parents of The Bride and/or Groom   While the postings I usually write are primarily for the couple planning their wedding, this post is different. I want to speak with the parents – the divorced parents – of a bride or groom. I want to share with you something of the unique perspective I’ve been given in my role as officiant. I love weddings for many reasons, chief among them being that I …

Love – “in sickness and in health”

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you. Herman Hesse Over the years I have gotten spoiled as I’ve officiated at some wonderful 4 and 5-star resorts. One of my favorites is The Montage in Laguna Beach. I’ve been using the quarantine as an opportunity to sift through old files and notes I’ve kept with the intention of turning them into blog posts. Well, here’s a “snapshot” memory …

Do You Pay Attention To Your Partner?

The worst that can be said of a person is that they “did not pay attention.” William Meredith I’m not sure how I came across the above quote, but it has stayed with me for years.  I often quote Meredith in my communication training seminars since so much of “mis-communication” is about “mis-perception,” about not paying attention. So the question for this post is simply this: Do you and your partner pay attention to each other? Especially now as you’re …

Your “Dream” Ceremony

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. Barbara Kingsolver Last summer a couple hired me for their wedding that took place last month.  We had a great first meeting – they wanted a ceremony that honored them as a couple and that included certain cultural traditions.  Because they booked me so far out, I suggested we get together again after the holidays, in mid-January. I left it up to the …

True Kindness

When the heart is truly open, there is a natural sense of appreciation for others, even while being aware of their imperfections. Don Rosenthal I recently reunited with a couple whose wedding I officiated fifteen years ago. They look older but their spirits are as I remember them. Open, inquisitive, yet clearly defined in their ongoing aspirations. “Jack Daniels” joined us at the table and story begat story. It was a magical night. As I was leaving, Ira suddenly asked …

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

In a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things—all of it, all of the time, every day.  You’re saying, ‘your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.’  Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.’  From the movie, Shall We Dance? It was six weeks before their wedding and Chad and Lisa still had not hired an officiant.  Towards the end …