Always there has been an adventure just around the corner –
and the world is still full of corners.
Roy Chapman Andrews
This post is not exactly wedding-themed – but – it speaks to this season of special celebration – and – may give you and your partner a moment to reflect and give thanks for the surprise of your own love. . .
A down-and-out character in Tennessee Williams’ play “Small Craft Warnings” asks this question:
“What is the one thing you must not lose sight of in this world before leaving it? Surprise. The capacity for surprise.”
The Christmas story is one of the great stories of “surprise.” A virgin birth, an angelic choir to greet a long-anticipated savior in the stinkiest of settings, are the surprise highlights in a story that ripples with the unexpected.
No matter one’s religious beliefs or non-beliefs, I think it does us good to reflect on our own individual capacity for being surprised – by life and perhaps, most especially, by our own self.
Can you still surprise yourself?
The mad rush to year’s end, beginning at Thanksgiving, accelerates the freneticism of our daily routines.
We want some holiday cheer, some Christmas “spirit,” whatever that spirit actually means and feels and looks like. But because we’ve been planning, organizing, shopping and juggling we just end up losing sight of the “why” of it all.
For some that “why” has a religious answer and for others it has some different answer, or no answer.
But no matter – we’re still left with the reality that “surprise” is embedded within the DNA of this holiday time.
Even the most famous secular Christmas story, “A Christmas Carol,” is the tale of a nasty old man who is given the surprise of his life – past, present and future!
The great gift of “the holidays” is the gift of being open to surprise.
And why is this gift so extraordinarily crucial?
Because life without surprise is not life. It’s just a monotonous, deadening, robotic routine.
To keep Christmas in one’s heart all year round as Dickens urged is really a promise to be a bearer of surprise in all things great and small.
It’s mindfully being willing to do the unexpected, the unanticipated and the unlooked for.
To surprise people with small courtesies as simple as wearing a mask or sending a thank-you.
To surprise the seemingly idiotic co-worker with patience.
To surprise a delivery person with a generous tip.
To surprise a friend with time for an actual phone chat.
To surprise your partner with – ?? – whatever would make them burst into a smile.
And it means being willing to surprise your own self – to be kind to your own self – to not punish yourself with food that makes you sluggish, with anxiety-inducing wedding tasks that derail the joy of planning your wedding or with dreams deferred that cause you to walk away from yourself.
To surprise your self by doing what you’ve put off doing because of fear.
In a year filled with more shock than surprise, this holiday season is a time for surprise and light and birth in ways unfamiliar and unnerving.
This is a time to once again resolve to live with courage – in the company of the one who helps give you courage.
Life, in all its messy and unexpected glory, is what animates the deepest yearnings of this season in both its religious and secular manifestations.
The point is not to live long – we live forever anyway.
The point is while you are alive, be ALIVE.